If those are the words that make the most sense to you, then that’s what you should call yourself. I find that female-identified folks who are asexual and homoromantic call themselves ace lesbians from time to time, and I think that’s neat.

I hope this helps!

~Arin

I think you need to tell your friends to back off on the matchmaking, unless you’ve asked them to hook you up with people. No matter what the gender is of the people they are picking, it’s presumptuous of them to try and get you to date random people. If you aren’t okay with talking to them about your dating preferences, just talk to them about not matching you up with people at all. You don’t have to get into the nitty-gritty details of your attraction unless you are comfortable doing so. Perhaps having them hold off entirely will give you space and time to think about talking about your preferences, if you so desire.

I hope this helps!

~Arin

Sometimes, it seems like people have a selective memory  for things that they don’t like. It’s really frustrating when someone, especially a parent, backpedals on their support for you. This post talks about defending the validity of bisexuality, which may be something you want to try out with your mom. Just a reminder: You know who you are, and you know your orientation is real, no matter what other people think or say.

I hope this helps.

~Arin

Regardless of sexual orientation, you are allowed to have preferences and limitations on what you are willing to do and try. Being bisexual doesn’t mean you have to be down for everything with everyone. I don’t think you need to be afraid to tell potential partners your needs; in fact, I recommend it. Establishing boundaries is important in a sexual relationship, so that everyone can be comfortable and no-one gets hurt. It may be that you are never comfortable with fluids, and it may also be that you find someone with whom you would be comfortable testing your limits. So many things can happen when you find a partner that you trust and feel safe with.

I hope this helps!

~Arin

That’s really frustrating, and it’s not stupid at all. I don’t want to push you out of the closet, but people won’t know you’re a part of the community until you tell them. There’s no stereotypical look for bisexuals, especially not for bisexual men; even if there was one, nobody should be assuming anyone’s identity based on looks alone, but that doesn’t really stop folks from trying. Bi folks tend to have to remind people who we are a little more, and remind them that we are part of the queer community. That doesn’t mean that you have to wear a flashing neon sign that says “I’M BISEXUAL” every minute of every day. It simply means that, when people say things like your friend did, consider coming out to them if it is comfortable to do so. You do belong in the community, but you need to make your place there if you want to be an out and proud member. And even if people think you “pass as straight”–which is a notion that I have always found to be bullshit, quite honestly–you know who you are. If you need any help with the coming out process, consider looking though my many, many posts on the subject.

I hope this helps!

~Arin

It sounds to me like you find breasts aesthetically attractive. That doesn’t make you any less asexual, unless they are the breasts of a specific person that you feel sexual attraction for. Even though breasts have been extremely sexualized, finding them pleasing or attractive doesn’t automatically make you a sexual person. All it means is that you are an asexual person who likes boobs. Don’t panic, dear; boobs are awesome.

I hope this helps!

~Arin